Teach A Man to Fish, You Feed Him for A Lifetime
Teach a fish to man, you’ll be in history books. Forever.
When in doubt, remember FISH…
It was a fine breezy afternoon. My parents, along with my pakciks and makciks were having a good time chatting and discussing things a couple year-old me would never understand at that time. As accurate as my hyperthymesia – a condition that I positively have a trait (certified by two doctors and a neurosurgeon) – can be, I was wearing my favourite Kiko T-shirt. It was deep, Navy blue with vermilion red horizontal stripes. Collared. Ugh, how could I stand T-shirt with collar masa tu… lol
We were spending our afternoon in our backyard. Well, not really an American backyard as the word backyard might suggest. No lawn – but pond. A fish pond. Bhahaha. That’s right. Our house had a… (well, it was handsomely big actually) fish pond installed at the back. Pretty fly, huh. Ekeke. Set your stereotypical architectural settings aside – boy, did we have fantastic fish in there! Snakehead fish, some gouramis, with chances of eels as well. What do they call puyu in English?
I remember my dad bought me a few pairs of Japanese koi or carp from a pet store that we accidentally visited that day. Not really accidental la. It was my mother’s idea. She said it would be nice to get me a pet. Perhaps she had hamsters or other small squeezable animals in mind. Little did she know her son had a fascinating preference over the kinds of beast to keep. Did I say beast? xD
… that’s “Forget It, Stuff Happens”
My mother was talking to my aunts. My father was murmuring, echoed by two of my uncles with their Goliath laughter. It wasn’t a windy day, but certainly airy it was. The sun wasn’t going hard on us, thank goodness. Only to my attention when my skin felt okay bathing in the sun ray. Yeah yeah I know. Call it puteri lilin whatever. That’s another medical condition I had (and still have, just not too mengada like dulu2. hiks). My skin was super sensitive to heat, weather and climate change. Fuh… was I predestined to be a weatherman?? Ahahaha.
But really, I could get red dots and spots and world atlas on my skin upon overexposure of hotness .. I mean heat.. *coughs* . The probability for my skin to peel off, or rather for people to skin me alive (to that extent!?) increased by the climbing temperature. How bout now? Well unless you’re on fire, I might throw you a cold shoulder if you ever try to roast me under the sun on purpose.
Where was I? Ah, yes, belakang rumah. Inasmuch I walked gleefully unbothered, and in my Kiki Lala shoes I was. You know the kind of shoes that make squeaky sound whenever you walk in them? Yes, that kind. Nyet nyet nyet nyet… wasn’t really a music to my ears if I didn’t mistakenly recall, though I bet those shoes had gained their popularity in those years and perhaps in a few more decades to come. Having said that, such annoying metronomed nyet nyet nyet nyet couldn’t attract even the slightest attention from my parents and my mother’s siblings. Were they too busy with their adult conversations? Or was I not dearly loved . o___o”
If you live in a school…
Hahaha. Drama sangat kan. Of course they couldn’t be bothered by the squeaking of my shoes. They gelak macam apa lagi. Luckily I, too, didn’t pay any attention to them, as much as. Few moments later I found myself on the brink of extinction. Bhahahaha. Okay okay. I was at the edge of the fish pond. Me could see my reflection on the surface of the rumbling water. And I was like, hey fishy fishy… dear fishy fishy~~ in my mind – as a small botol susu was plugged into my mouth, dangling left and right aimlessly following my head-shaking and nodding.
I don’t know la. Was it me, or was it just me, but I used to love to nod and shake my head while walking. The struggle was real. ^^” You might now think I need a therapist pronto more than Usain Bolt needed his final gold medal for his retirement.
Why, fish. You look troubled, I told myself, again. Are you okay? Are you experiencing some sort of breathing difficulty? Oh certainly you are! You’re swimming hither thither in water! No human can breathe underwater! I know you’re fish but I don’t care! You need help! I’m gonna help you, Mr Fish!
Nat Geo much
I don’t think I Navy SEALed my way into the water – stealthily and unnoticed – because I could hear the ‘kebushhh’ or ‘keceburrr’ kinda sound effect as I wet myself from head to toe – toe first. Okay maybe tumit first. As I opened my eyes, I saw Mr Fish and friends were in awe. They had this look on their faces, like saying what on earth this stupid baby was thinking? I got that notion, you know. Telepathically. Whoaaa… okay ni exaggerating. Ekeke. I am an excellent swimmer, but the toddler me wasn’t. In fact, as I felt the cold sensation got colder, I didn’t even flick a hand to maneuver something a normal person who nonchalantly accidentally plunged himself into the waters would do called swimming.
… then you’re probably a fish.
Yep, I let myself sink. I was so done with life, like my American friend used to say in my face whenever I refused him and his ajakan to go out makan but I kirim bungkus instead: “live lazy die don’t want.” As I was trying to recall the lyrics of the Que Sera Sera song I heard my mom sang the other day, I noticed another ‘kecebuurrr’ took place a few feet away from where I stood (at the bottom of the pond. Wait… why was I that rock heavy?) Hey!! Look, Mr Fish! My father came to play with us! Wheee!!
And my father snatched me quick, snapped me back into reality as he swam upwards and toiled himself – with me in one arm – out of the water. Aww… killjoy. Lol! Hey I was lucky enough he didn’t toss me out tau. He was a carpenter. A strong lumberjack, except he cut paddy and kicked frogs, not pine trees and smoldering logs. Ekeke. Anyways, short after we both got out of the pond (bye bye Mr Fish and friends~), my mother ran towards us and grabbed me like a running back snatching the football from the quarterback. Oh and that’s American football, ladies and gentlemen. Thank goodness she managed to control her speed. Otherwise I might find her, my father and I back in the pond with Mr Fish again. Bhahahaha
Sometimes when the waters are quiet, you can hear the fish laughing at you
So, yeah. It was a beautiful afternoon after all. I caused quite a scene anyways. It wasn’t on purpose, though. But I’m sure I got their attention. And I know I was loved. Tehehehe…
Did I die after the accident, or incident? (bukan indecent ye. lol) Quoting Kelly Clarkson’s song… “Here I am, once again… I’m torn into pieces~” . Wait, that doesn’t sound right. xD I survived la weyh. Sorry to disappoint you. Ekeke xD And to be honest, that incident was only an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini kind of accidents that I have experienced throughout my life. Well, let’s save it for more posts and entries to come, shall we? ^^