The year everything changes
It has been a while since I last wrote. I miss blogging, but I got caught up with so many things (exams to be exact) and now we are busy with Hari Raya. But I want to make time to blog today, so here goes.
I was actually attracted by this post Being 12 and somehow it gave me ideas on what to write.
The big ONE TWO – The year everything changes.
I strongly believe that 12 is the age where you don’t feel that you are no longer a kid, but still, you are not an adult just yet. There is a little bit of a conflict there. I don’t know, because sometimes when I have this particular feeling, there will be somehow an inner voice telling me that I am not compatible/ready to have that feelings yet, you know what I mean. Sounds funny, but the struggle is real.
At this particular age, our physical, mental, emotional and social changes a lot compared to our past years. Our hormones change too. These are the times when we are showing more concern about our body image, our look and appearances. Our clothes changed. Gone are the pretty dresses with big ribbons, spaghetti strap top with hot pants, sneakers with rollers and many more. When I was younger, I didn’t care if people thought my shirt did not go well with my pants because it was what I wanted to wear and that’s all that matters. I miss those kinda days.
Now, we tend to focus more on ourselves. We experience more moodiness. We become more sensitive. We easily feel stressed from more challenging school work. Sometimes we feel a lot of sadness or depression, which can affect our whole day’s emotions. There were times when I just wanted to go away and never come back but I knew that I would be missed by all. So what I did was, write them in my diary to feel relieved.
12 is the age where you feel that you are too big to play on swings at the playground and too old to buy cute stuffs from Smiggles. However, The Amazing World of Gumball is still an awesome cartoon to watch, even though you love watching MTV. You also start getting more active on social media and connect with many new people. You start texting frequently.
The most stressful thing about being 12 is worrying about friends. Who are your real friends, what do they think of you, do they actually like you. You start questioning if your friends are true to you. You learn a lot about life and about who you are. You pay attention to everything, even the small things.
To me, 12 is a strange age.
But I believe that everything is temporary – emotions, thoughts, feelings, people. I just need to relax and go with the flow. As of now, be a 12 year old, stay as is, because maybe one day I might miss this moment and wish if I could turn back the time. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
By the way, I made this short poem a few days ago. I was inspired by the movie 10 Things I Hate About You. Thought of keeping it here. Forever. =)
I HATE YOU
I hate the way you smile at me
I hate the way you care
I hate the way you look at me
I hate it when you stare
I hate when you made a mark in my heart
I hate when you are always on my mind
I hate when you are not around
Or nowhere that I can find
I hate when you make me feel special
I hate when you make me laugh
I hate when you put me number one
Even worse when you got me stunned
I hate when you are not around
I hate when you never text or call
But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you
Not even a little bit
Not even close, not even at all.
Starshine “just a girl in the world” Safiya