When in Malaysia…
… you need to eat all you can.
But before I embark upon my glutton walk of shame, I need to rant about the importance of BM. I can’t fathom how some people think they can survive in Malaysia without being BM literate. Or even worse, having spent at least 5 years in sekolah kebangsaan and still can’t string a proper sentence in BM. Like, H O W?!!!! It makes me so mad I just – I just want to throw a bunch of grenades at them or stab them repeatedly so they suffer a slow painful death.
I’m really not a sadist – I happened to watch Olympus Has Fallen a few days ago and the gory scenes are still vividly playing in my mind.
And this brings me to the income tax e- filing. Like holy mother of all things merciful can you for the love of all things good GET IT RIGHT. This is what’s going to kill me. It is. Like if you’re not ready for e-filing, DON’T. The stupid system is so freaking messed up and it just makes me so mad I want to douse whoever it was who thought Malaysia was ready for it in honey and set a bunch of red ants on said person. This is also my preferred punishment for rapists. I think this is why I’m not the one meting out punishment. Besides the fact that I am so absent-minded I would never get through law school.
Anyways. Before I arrived on my tanah tumpahnya darahku, I lost some weight. To make way for the weight I would bring back with me when I leave. Unfortunately, I didn’t lose enough😭
Is it possible to cramp a year’s worth of food in a month? Yes. You just gain a year’s worth of weight to lose at the same time *wails* And it is impossible for me to exercise while I’m here. It’s always I’m too busy/it’s too hot/I don’t have the proper attire/insert any lame excuses. I laid out my yoga mat in my room but all it has done is serve as a red carpet into my room. Except that it is green.
Somehow before I came back I had a strange craving for murtabak. You would know if I told you to go get it. I finally got to have it a few weeks ago at a mamak near my house. Would anyone believe me if I were to say that was my first time at a mamak?🙈
I also needed my karipap sardin and I got dragged out of bed at the unholy hour of 6:45 am because this stall sells out by 7:00 am. Not because it is that good, but because they make such small quantities. Pfffttttt.
Then I found the ultimate roadside stall that sells *cue the hallelujah chorus* RM1 nasi lemak in banana and kuih kosui/kaswi 😍 Then I went back the next day they didn’t make the kuih kosui/kaswi and that brought back another round of rage. I’m really not a hot-tempered person. Really.
Unfortunately I’m into my final week here and I’ve still yet to get my hands on kambing sup and… dun dun dun, the Hiro cake! If you don’t know Hiro cake then ….. you don’t know lah. What can I say 🤷🏻♀️